Broken Into a Million Pieces

This beautiful picture was drawn in sidewalk chalk by my son for his niece, Tink. They have an interesting bond. The Kid was the first. He got to pick all the nicknames. I'm Grammy, then there is Popop. He has always called my son Uncle. Seems simple, plain. Not when the kids say it. When they say Uncle it is like he is the most important and only Uncle they have. That is a great thing. Their Uncle does not have many good things in his life. Coco is just getting to know him. It is not always easy. He can hide in his world for long periods. He is not always friendly. He does not always have the patience to talk to a baby. Right now they are developing their relationship. Coco will look at Uncle and give him a huge smile and laugh. Her smile is contagious. Uncle needs it. He does not smile or laugh enough.

Uncle is not always easy to live with. I am not always as patient with him as I should be. Tonight was a good night. I brought him Taco Bell. That made him very happy. We do not have Taco Bell very often. Little things like that can set the pace for an upbeat evening with Uncle. Tonight he did not complain or nag me about anything. He was just walking around doing his thing. A calm, peaceful evening. One time he walked by me and I glanced up and looked at him. In a few seconds I saw how handsome he is. It reminded me of the life he could of and should of had. In those few seconds my heart was broken into a million pieces. Somehow I have to put the pieces of my heart back into the box that allows me to survive the son I lost and never buried.

So what is the chalk picture? Might not look like much to you. It is a castle Uncle made for his Tink. She stood next to him and supervised it all. Pointing her little finger wherever she needed changes. One room is made of a heart. My favorite part is where he wrote, Tru Love. As an Uncle he gets to show his love and that is not an easy thing for him to do.