I Went Nine Days

I broke my book ban and purchased a book last week.  I did not go in the store.  I purchased it on-line.  It was an emergency.  Really!  I needed to read a book about opening a coffee shop.  It just came yesterday.  I only had a chance to read a few pages.  Eventually, I will finish it.
What I did learn in only a few pages is, I need to put the coffee shop back where it belongs.  In a hope chest.  On the positive side I scored almost a perfect score on the quiz, did I have the personality to run a shop.  Just like I have always known, I do.  I am a people person.  I love to organize things.  I like coffee.  I can boss people around very well.  (That was not on the quiz, but thought I would throw it in.)  I am an advanced list maker.
What hit me in the face in the chapter about having what it takes to be a business owner is, time.  I am already stressed out trying to keep up with my life.  On the upside, it would be filling my time making a dream come true. 
On the downside none of the responsibilities I already have will disappear.  I will still have my day working at the Farm and my long commute to do it.  (Yes, I know it was my choice to move 60 miles away from where I work.)  I will still have the major stress of dealing with mental illness at home.  Right now I am MAXED out on that.  Over my limits, through the woods.  Maxed out.
So reality hit me.  (I hate reality.)  Unless, this is a family business, all for one and one for all, this will not work.  So, it will not work.  At least not now.  Probably, never.  I try to be a realist most of the time.  So it is time for me to face some ugly reality.
I cannot be gone 11 hours a day.  Spend the time when I am in town at a coffee store.  That would mean no time for the kids.  I cannot give up my grandchildren time.  That is what life is about right now.
So I am going to wallow in self pity for a few days.  Eventually, I wll pick myself up, dust myself up, and get on with life.  The good, the bad, and the ugly.  Since tomorrow is an ugly Wednesday, it will be a perfect time to dig into my wallowing.  I am going to give it 100%.