Tag Team Parenting

At this time of our life Hubby and I did not dream we would still be parenting.  Unfortunately, life does not always go as planned.  We should be done parenting.  We are not.  Even though our son is 30, we still have to parent.  There are different types of mental illness and different levels.  Some people can function in society with mental illness.  We are not that lucky.  Our son, cannot live on his own.  We know that without our care he would not stay as mentally healthy as he does.  In the 10 years since his diagnosis he has only been hospitalized two times.  Let me tell you, that is amazing.  He has not been in the hospital for 8 or 9 years.  Another amazing feat. 
There are many struggles.  The last three or four months have been difficult.  My son has been "off."  I knew he needed a change in his medication.  His Dr. did not accept my diagnosis as quickly as I would have liked.  It can be very stressful to live with the ups and downs.  He can go a couple of days without sleeping.  He can also sleep for almost 24 hours.  What seems to happen with the care of our son is tag team parenting.  When one of us cannot take it anymore, the other is able to step up to the plate.  When one of us does not have any patience left, the other is able to take over.  It is rare that both of us lose it at the same time.  This was not always the case.  Time has brought us to this point.
Last week The Doctor finally jumped on board and decided a change of medicine was needed.  The medicine my son has been on for tens years is not working the way it should be.  The Doctor cannot just take him off of it.  First he added a new medicine.  After a month he will slowly wean him off of the old medicine.  I decided it would be a good idea to take a few days off work to stay home and  help with the transition.  I have been home for 5 days.  I think I need at least two more weeks at home.  Unfortunately, I have to return to my job tomorrow.  Tired and stressed, I will head back to the office.
Do you read the warnings that come with your medicine?  I do read the warnings on my son's medications.  Here is what I find interesting.  It will say, "may cause drowsiness."  It can also say, "may cause sleeplessness."  It can say, "could suppress appetite."  Or, "may cause over eating and weight gain."  We are working on insomnia right now.  He is 30 hours without sleep.  Long hours.  Today, Hubby said, I'm out.  You get today.  That worked for me.  Hubby will be alone with him tomorrow.  Many mood changes come when he goes without sleep.  He gets grumpy, mean, disoriented, and really ready for sleep.  Once in awhile he will graze over nice.  It is usually quick.  Blink and you miss it. 
Our job is to remain as upbeat and positive as possible.  He does not want to take medicine.  He certainly does not want to take more medicine than he took before.  It is not easy to get him to continue with the new medicine when it is causing him to stay awake.  I have spent the last 5 days coaxing him to eat his favorite foods.  Trying to keep him active or at least engaged.  Trying to stay calm, calm, calm.  Negotiating to get him to do what I want him to do.  Exhausting. 
The next couple of months could be difficult.  I will try to keep Coach's positive thoughts in my mind.  He said, "so maybe after he gets on the new medicine he will be better than he is now."  We hope so. 
I have a point in sharing these stories with you.  I want people to have more of an understanding of mental illness.  When you see a homeless person on the streets, talking to himself, staring at nothing, that could be illness.  A person that does not have family to help or refuses to be helped.  When you hear the term schizophrenia, do not think dangerous, psychotic person.  My son loves to be an Uncle.  He is so happy when the girls laugh with him.  He is the one that sits and blows bubbles with the girls.  He plays catch with The Kid.  He loves his family.  He misses having friends.  He gets lonely, he gets sad.  He knows that he does not have a normal life.  When he struggles he isolates himself.  When he is doing good, he will push himself to do things in public.  During these stressful times he will still try to get a smile from Coco. 
I am not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow.  I hope I get a good night's sleep tonight.  My Son just headed down to his room.  He is giving sleep another try.  Fingers crossed it works this time.  Keep us in your thoughts as we face the next few months.  A victory is he comes out on the other side doing better and does not end up in the hospital.  Fingers crossed!