5 Days

Uncle has been in the hospital for 5 days.  I talked to him yesterday.  He was surprisingly upbeat.  He does not care if we visit him.  He only needs us to bring him things.  He said he went to two counseling sessions.  I hope that is true.  He needs to be in a group.  He said he thinks he might get to come home on Wednesday.  I do not know if that is true.

Today I called to talk to Uncle again.  He spoke to me but I could tell he was angry.  I asked if he was mad at me.  He said he was.  He is angry we put him in the hospital.  I asked if he wanted to talk, he said no.  Conversation over.  I expect anger over him being in the hospital.  Even though he admitted the medicine was making him feel better.  There is a part of him that cannot admit he is ill.  When he was first diagnosed, he understood he was sick.  I think the reality was too much for him.  It is easier to pretend there is nothing wrong.
I thought I had more control of my emotions today.  Then I saw how sad my daughter was.  Sad enough she let me hug her.  Sad enough she even cried.  The thing about being a mother is, seeing my child cry still rips me up.  I can't fix this.  When I came home I was shaking all over again. 
It is strange being alone in the house with Hubby.  It feels too big.  Extra quiet.  I am not really complaining about it.  It feels good.  The stress is out of the house for the time being.  We have had a very relaxing week-end.  Spent most of our time with Tru Stories and her family.  Walking around Harvest Days.  Even Hubby seems to want to be around TS and her family more than usual.  Being with the kids is healing.  Tomorrow is the relaxing day of Harvest Days.  We watch the parade at Tru Stories' house.  It is great to watch all the kids together.  Coco will be dancing.  Tink will be Tink.  The weather has been beautiful this week-end.  Nice to put on a sweatshirt.  I will sleep well tonight.  Sleeping has not been a problem.  It is great not to worry about Uncle prowling the house all night. 
I have not forgot about books.  I try to read a few pages each day.  Reading always makes me feel relaxed.  As soon as I finish the interesting book I am reading, I will write about it.