Monday, November 21, 2011

Another Visit

Yesterday, Tru Stories and I went to visit Joel.  Just the two of us.  It was nice to have TS alone in the car for a few hours.  It was not necessarily a fun way to spend the day.  At least I had good company. I do not know why but it is the most exhausting 2 hour and 15 minute trip.  Feels like it lasts forever! 
It was a long visit for Joel.  We sat with him for 1 hour and 30 minutes.  He was much calmer.  Physically he looked better.  He was more alert.  His balance seemed to be better.  His speech is still a problem.  It was a bit clearer than last week.  Not enough that I can really follow his conversations.  I was able to understand more words.  TS thinks she can understand more of what he is saying.  She could have just been making things up for all I know.
If I gave him a 2 last week on a 1-10 scale, I would give him a 3 for yesterday.  It is nice to see any positive change right now.  He is more aware of his surroundings and of himself.  He said he did not want The Kid to see him in there. 
He also asked me to buy him new tennis shoes, Nikes.  This is amazing to me.  He wants to have nice clothes to make sure the other patients know he is cool.  Seriously!  He is in terrible shape, cannot speak, and wants to make sure he is dressing like there is an in-crowd.  He has always been something!  I am happy that he cares.
No expectations for the next visit.  I cannot control any of this.  I can just remind him that I love him.  Try to take him things that make him comfortable. 
The end of the visit was painful.  He was begging for me to take him home.  He was begging his sister.  He said he could not get well in that place.  If I loved him, I would take him home.  It broke my heart.  As painful as it was, the fact he wants out is positive.  Any self-awareness is a good sign.
Day at a time.  Day at a time.

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