Career Change

Today the boys at work and I discussed a career change. We are all big fans of Swamp People. Last night was the finale. If you did not watch this show, 1) you missed awesome TV, 2) it is about alligator hunting. It is legal to hunt alligators 30 days a year. One swamp guy made $40,000 in a month. Who is in the wrong business, me and the boys are.
Why do we think we will be good at it? Obviously, we are smart. Next we watched all of the shows. Well, I missed one but Willie likes to retell the entire episodes. The Swamp People throw in some type of alligator fishing line. They hook an alligator, and pull it close to the boat. When it gets close to the boat someone needs to chute it, chute (that is a Creole accent) it. On swamp people they pull in the line with their bare hands. I think leather gloves would be a great idea. The boys disagree. Stormie wants to build our boat. I think he'll do fine. Their was an episode that he watched a guy build a boat. Did not look hard. Stormie just needs the right tools. Tru Stories mentioned we should probably do some yoga to improve our balance. That is a great idea. The other change we will probably make is using a wench to pull the alligators close to the boat. Close enough to, chute it, chute it. (We love when Troy says that.) We are going to have two boats.
Stormie googled today. Looks like we just need a license. We would like a guide but they are super expensive. My plan is we google any area in the swamp where a person was recently eaten or bit by an alligator. Once we know where an alligator it, we can put out bait. We have to lease swamp from someone. Only for 30 days. I know what you are thinking. The boys and I thought the same thing. It is almost like having money handed to us. This will be so easy. Season just ended a few weeks ago. We have an entire year to plan and get in alligator hunting shape. I need to learn to shoot a gun. Stormie does not think I can be a shooter if I have never shot a gun. Doc is a strong guy. I see him as one of the pull the alligators into the boat guys. He will also be along in case anyone gets hurt. Not sure how anyone could possibly be hurt alligator hunting.
We will keep you posted. We have an entire year to nail down the details.

Swamp People

Does it seem odd that I like wonderful books filled with substance and I also like ridiculous shows like Swamp People? That is only the tip of my terrible reality TV iceberg. Today at work, Stormy mentioned there is a Swamp People marathon on Saturday. Everyone perked up. It is not bad enough we watch it, some of us will DVR it. The boys love the Swamp People. Their favorite guy is Troy. He has a great Creole accent. An accent they like to copy. Talk moved to another guy. One of the boys mentioned he is not bright. I can't remember if it was The Doctor or Stormy who said, He has Swamp Smarts. These boys would not know what Swamp Smarts were if they jumped into their swamp boat. (By the way, Stormy would love a career building swamp boats.) Here's the thing about our little group and reality TV. We watch a few episodes of any reality TV show and next thing you know we are experts. They are just looking for a place to throw in the term, "Kill Spot." It is hard to bring into conversation on a daily basis. Tonight at dinner I was describing the Swamp Smart conversation to Coach and Tru Stories. Come to find out, Coach is a big Swamp People fan. He has a TV in his shop. He said if it is on when men come in for a cut, they talk about how much they love the show. It is nice to know we are watching something that is somewhat of an almost, normal, mainstream show.
Another conversation we had at dinner was about how I feel like I work with Beavis and Butthead. They can giggle like junior high boys. The least little thing. I'm explaining to Coach and Tru Stories that if I accidentally say, Butt, the giggles can start. Tru Stories said are you kidding me, every time I say "balls" Coach laughs. On cue Coach starts giggling like an 11 year old boy. He was laughing hard. That caused Tru Stories and I to laugh hard.
There was also an awkward conversation where I tried to whisper, that was hot, to Tru Stories. Unfortunately, The Kid heard me. He had to imitate how I said it. We really need to start having adult only dinners. We would not even need to find a sitter. We can leave Coach at home. The Kid can watch Coach for us.