Today my son is 30. It makes me very sad. Not because I feel old. It makes me think of what should have been. Everything we thought he would have. Everything we thought he would do. Who we thought he would be. All the dreams a parent has for a child.
He was such a good looking boy. So handsome. He had his first girlfriend in preschool. The girls loved him. He cared about fashion and how he looked. He liked Guess, anything to do with the Bears and the Bulls. You know he had Air Jordans. His sister will tell you how the rest of us went without food so he could have Air Jordans. He would rather own one pair of name brand jeans, than several pairs of "generic."
He was very smart. Straight A student that obsessed about getting good grades.
He was an amazing athlete. He was good at everything he did. He was too competitive. Win, win, win. That is what he cared about. I loved to watch him play everything. His sister and I thought he was so CUTE in his baseall uniform. Once he pitched a no hitter.
Here he is with his Dad and Grandpa. In the middle of a double header. He would look towards his Dad for guidance. Once after a basketball game he told me to tell Dad to be quicker at half-time. Dad missed the first play of the second half. He always looked for us. He knew we would be there.
He was proud of his sister. He was thrilled when he out grew her. He loved to torment her. She was a big fan of everything he did. She misses how funny he was. She misses him.
He enjoyed going to the school dances. Unlike many kids his age, he liked to dress up. He looked as comfortable in a tie as he did in a t-shirt. He was very popular. Had lots of friends, boys and girls. Not as good with teachers!
He loved basketball from the time he was very young. He got his first hoop when he was in second grade. He had to quit sucking his thumb to get it. That was no easy feat. He played all the time. In the cold weather his hands had huge open cracks from being out in the cold and drying out.
He was a great jumper. He could play any position on the floor and often did. He loved to steal the ball. One year he lead his team in points, rebounds, steals, and blocked shots.
He was terrible at free throws. So he started to practice, and practice, and practice..... He ended up being very good at them. He went to the line all the time. He would go up against any size guy under the basket and was fantastic at drawing fouls. We all loved watching him play. His sister and I would have tears running down our faces the first game of the year, the last game of the year, when we could not get over how cute he was.... We were proud.
It was very stressful to be his Mom. He would act first and think later. He was in trouble so much. I loved him with all my heart. Still do! It is still very stressful to be his Mom.
This is the first time he met The Kid. He was thrilled to be an Uncle. Still is. He loves The Kid. He loves the girls. He is a good Uncle. They will learn so much from him, especially compassion.
With all he was, he should of had so much. He should have his own house. He should be married to a cute little cheerleader type. He should have a great job. He should have a few kids. He should be teaching them all what he knew about sports. His 30th birthday should be celebrated with all his friends and family. But his friends disappeared. It is not fun to watch a friend turn from what he was to what he is.
Mental illness stole the "should have beens." We still love him with all our hearts. We celebrate his minor victories. Like, attending the Relay For Life Dance. Going to The Kids Crazy Hat party. He will attend The Kid's basketball games. He loves Coco and Tink. I am proud of what he does. We will have a party tonight. We will "celebrate" with him.
But, today I am sad.
5 comments:
Happy Birthday Uncle! He did have lots of fun at the Relay Wedding Reception! Glad to see it. Very cute pictures, thanks for sharing....See you at the party tonight!
And.... that was awful....thanks for making me hysterical.
Love all the pictures!!! Have a great party tonight!
Happy birthday, Uncle!
Happy Birthday! Hope you have a fabulous day!
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