I went to see my son today. Well, technically, yesterday now. I have not seen him since he went in the hospital last Sunday. He calls once in awhile. Mainly to complain. Only to complain. Quick calls. He ends up hanging up on me every call. I talk to his nurses once or twice a day. I have not been to visit because he is so agitated. Normally, it is not worth visiting him in the hospital until he settles down. He has not settled down yet. I do not know if he is going to this time.
I decided to go see him hoping a visit would help him remember who he really is. This is going to be his longest stay in the hospital. I know he is losing track of time. For some reason, he can't even have a calendar. I do not understand some of what they do. It was not a good visit. When I got there he was talking quietly in his room with another patient. I thought that was a positive sign. He was calm. He seemed happy to see me for about 2 minutes. I might be exaggerating that part. Might have been a shorter amount of time. One of his complaints was that he cannot see. His eyes are blurred. He said it is from the medication. I said it is probably from the medication drying out his eyes. He needs to take out his contacts. I dropped off his glasses when I was at the hospital for what should have been his hearing on Thursday. He will not use his glasses. He was also complaining about not having a hairbrush. I realized when I got home that I sent his brush on Thursday too. Not sure why they have not given it to him.
The visit took a big dive when the nurse came in with his medicine. He got upset and aggressive. He wanted the nurse to listen to his complaints and she would not. Here is the problem. He is rude, angry, and aggressive. He is not winning any favors from the nursing staff. They do not want to have anything to do with him. On one hand I get it. On the other hand, if he were in his right mind he would not be at the hospital. It is their job to take care of the patients.
The visiting hours are very short. They are from 5:00-7:00 every evening. No earlier times even on the week-end. It would be nice if they gave the patients their medications before 5:00. Would be nice to help them calm down before visits. Dinner comes about 5:30. IF, I would have made it that long, he would have asked me to leave when his dinner arrived.
I drove 2 hours for a ten minute visit. I walked out crying. When I got to the elevator there was a young guy in there. He was on the phone to his mother in law. His wife was the patient that was in Joel's room when I arrived. He got a shorter visit than I did. His wife asked him to leave. When he got off the phone he asked if he could give me a hug. He was crying too. He said I looked like I needed a hug and he knew he did. We walked together to the atrium. This was the positive part of my visit. That stranger needed me to be there. I did not get his name. I know we work at the same company. I know he is in systems. He has three children ten and under. His wife is suffering from mania. She was just hospitalized on Saturday morning. They think she is having a bad reaction to some anti-anxiety medication. I stopped crying. I explained to this man that his wife is not really mad at him. He is just getting the blame for her being in the hospital. I told him to remember she was safe now. She had gone missing Friday night. Lost in a corn field. Did not get home until it became light out. I explained to him that normally when a person enters the hospital they are able to straighten out the medication problems quickly. He said he did not understand everything that was happening. It was too much. His kids wanted their Mom. They were scared by her behavior leading up to the hospitalization. I told him that normally it only takes a few days to get people well enough to go home. That it would happen quickly. I told him she would forgive him. That I knew it was hard to find people to talk with about what he was going through. He felt better when I walked away. I know I was meant to be there for him. I hope I never see him there again. I hope his wife gets home soon and can be his wife and a Mom.
As for my son, he is not getting well. I fear this time he is not going to pull out of it. I told the nurse that is not who he is. I heard Joel tell her that maybe she should find a new career. That people who become nurses do it because they care about people. He said she is not good at it. I think she just sees mentally ill people so much she forgets they are people. The illness is taking away who they are. I want her to know he is a son, a brother, a sweet Uncle that loves his nephew and nieces. I know that person is still in there. Praying we are able to find him soon.
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