Monday, November 28, 2011

Eat, Share, Read

I wish I would have thought to get a cash advance to write a book about this journey I have been on.  It would have been more interesting to travel to other countries while I have found the strength and courage to face this time in my life.  It would have been more interesting if I were doing yoga in an exotic and beautiful country.  Even without traveling to other countries and enjoying interesting foods, this has still been a journey within myself.  I have always considered myself a very strong person.  Per my counselor, I still am a very strong person.  It is shocking to me how I was brought to my knees by this sadness.  It is not in my character to get knocked down by things in my life.  I am not a person that turns to my doctor in a crisis.  I never thought I would need a counselor to get me through tough times.  I like to be self-reliant.
That said, I did need help.  I have seen my doctor so many times in the last few months.  It took strength for me to go to her and say, life has over-whelmed me and I need help.  I would not have done that if I did not have a trusting relationship with my doctor.  I have been seeing her for years.  She has helped me so much in the last three months.  I hate taking medication.  Right now, I need it.  I need to sleep well at night.  I need something to help me deal with the stress and sadness.  She also helped me with her words.  Telling me that when strong women finally crumble it is a hard fall.  She admitted she has been through it.  The best thing she did for me was to refer me to a counselor. 
I have said it before, seeing a counselor was not my thing.  It is now.  I think finding the right person to talk to is so important.  My counselor will tell me if she thinks I am wrong.  She helps me see so many obvious things.  She has helped me find a path out of my despair.  I find myself using her phrases.  I try to, "be an advocate" for my son.  I look for ways of giving me "self care."  Sometimes I even have to verbalize, "how things make me feel."  To face tough things, I describe, "how events will look to me." 
Even I admit these phrases sound like they are out of a comedy.  In the past I would have not been able to open myself up to a stranger.  Somehow it works.  I trust her.  I can say things to her I do not even like to admit to myself.  I can bring up small problems I am facing and she brings a new perspective for me to see. 
Most importantly, I have had time off work to recover.  Right now I am keeping my world small.  I do not do things that make me feel stressed.  If I am tired, I go to bed early.  Two nights over the long holiday week-end I slept over 12 hours a night.  I would not have done that before.  Now I know my body needs it.  I am working through so much stress.  It is exhausting.
Today I feel better than I have in weeks.  I am getting through a list of things I needed to get done.  Some of my Christmas decorations are even up.  It has helped that  I had a good visit with my son, my daughter had a good visit, and my husband had a good visit.  I feel like it is possible he will come out of this.  I know it will not be quick.  Right now I am just happy for small improvements.
My blog has helped too.  Writing is a great release.  There are days I write things that never get posted.  The writing helps.  The positive energy I get back from so many of you helps too. 
The journey is not over.  I know the holidays will not be easy.  I think I am in a better place with better tools available to cope.  Thanks for the part all of you are playing in my journey.  I wanted to share an optimistic day I experienced.  There have been too many depressing days.

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