Mother's Day

My favorite thing to do on Mother's Day is sit on my patio with a book (today a Kindle).   Along the side of my house is a row of peony bushes.  Every time I passed them, they smelled so wonderful.  It reminded me of my mother-in-law.  She had great peony bushes.  We have some of her bushes in our yard.  She got her bushes from her Mother.  They were brought from California.  The passion for flowers passed from one generation to the next. 
My Mom was not into flowers.  She did not have the gift of enjoying beauty.  I don't say that as a criticism.  Just a fact.  She had more of a black and white personality.  Did not take the time to smell the roses.  I think that is part of the reason I love flowers so much.  We did not have gardens when I was growing up.  I could not wait to have my own home and gardens.
I am not going to pretend my Mom and I had the greatest Mother/Daughter relationship.  That is not to say I did not love her.  I did and I still miss her.  My Mom was not good at affection.  Not as a Mom.  She was great at being a Grandma.  She loved the babies.  To hold them.  To rock them.  My Mom was tough.  She became a widow when she was 52.  My brother was a freshmen in high school.  I was in 6th grade.  My Mom had not worked.  My Dad took care of everything.  Except life insurance.  My Mom had to face some realities quickly.  She had a hard life.  It did not translate into her being a touchy feely person.  When I was little, she would "tuck me in at night."  That was pulling up the covers and maybe kissing my forehead.  She did not say, "I love you."  I knew she loved me.  She showed through her actions.  She did her best taking care of us.  She gave us all she was able to give.
I always wanted a daughter.  I wanted to have a great relationship with her.  I never wanted her to have a day when she wondered if I was proud of her, or loved her.  I wanted her to know, I would always be there for her.  I think I achieved that.  I enjoy spending time with her.  She makes me laugh.  She is not the toucher I would like her to be.....but can't have everything.  My grand children are huggers.  Little Tink can cuddle all day long.
I have known some wonderful Mothers.  I hope I learned some things from them.  They helped me be the Mother I am.  I took some positives.  I tried to make sure I changed the negatives.
Happy Mother's Day!  Hope you all enjoyed your day with family.  If you are a Mom, hope you took care of yourself.