Today I went to a funeral. It was a tough one to get through. At the cemetery as I was walking to Betty's grave site I realized I could see my parent's graves and my in-law's graves. On one hand I noticed the irony of them all still being in the same neighborhood. On the other hand, they have all passed on. At the church after the service, I sat at the table with some of the other people that live on the same street. Small town living is good. People do not usually move very often. Buy a house and stay there.
Hubby had to leave the service early to take our son to his appointment. He sees a counselor and a nurse that specializes in mental illness. She has been treating him for a few months. She was working on a medication change. She felt like he should be able to have more of a quality of life than he had. Unfortunately, things took a dive. Joel stopped eating. Would not always take his medicine. Today at his appointment Joel had an outburst. With that and the fact he was not eating, they decided to get him to the hospital for an assessment. It was a shock when Hubby came home without him. I knew he was bad but in the past his Doctor was not so quick at getting him in the hospital.
You would think that this would be easier. It does not. I think it is getting more difficult. I feel like they are never going to get him stabilized. I don't feel happy that he is in a place that will take care of him. I do not know if they really will take care of him. He is in a place he has never been before. Not all hospitals are good. Not all the people that work with on the mental wards are compassionate.
He asked his counselor if he would be home for Christmas. I do take that as a good sign. He is aware that the holiday is coming. That is a positive sign. If you pray, please pray for Joel.
I have spent the last few hours crying. Hope it is almost out of my system. Need a good night's sleep. Long day tomorrow.
The pictures below are from last Christmas Eve. We had a nice evening.
2 comments:
i cry for you too, as if not enough tears have been shed...
I will pray every time i think of you & that's all the time!
all you need is a mustard seed of hope and i know you have at least that! HUGE tight long warm hugs!
love you!!
Aww, the mustard seed. I forgot about that. Thanks Millhouse. I will get out my mustard seed necklace.
Love you too!
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