The answer to the e-mail questions was 464. I think 20 of the e-mails were about one food day!! I got through the e-mails. I was happy to see my work friends. Four hours was more than enough. Not sure how I will do it tomorrow. Tonight was just too much for me.
I decided to ride to the hospital with Tru Stories tonight while she had a visit with her brother. I did not want her to go through it alone. I was going to sit in the waiting room and read. My son decided he would see me. It really was so awful. He looks terrible. It is obvious the staff is scared of him so they are not interacting with him. He is being left alone. He is upset about needing a shave. He is upset that he does not get any of his things.
I just want to tell them that he is not that person. He can be kind. He is frightened. He is sad. He is so confused. They do not even get decent beds to sleep in. I want to take pictures in and say, see how beautiful he was. He was funny. He was so smart. Girls loved him. He was an amazing athlete. He is really more of a boy than a man. His family loves him so much.
It is so hard to listen to my son go on and on about how we abused him. I do not know why he thinks that. The fact he does not remember how loved he has always been is one of the hardest things for me to hear.
I just want to sit and rub his arm. Hold him and tell him he is so loved. He will not let me sit near him. He let me hug him before I left. It was not enough.
Tomorrow is the hearing. I asked him to sign the paper work so we do not have to testify against him. He said he would. I am not sure how much he understands.
I pray the place he gets moved to can help him. I pray they understand his illness. I hope they know that it is his illness, not him that is causing the anger.
I am sure Tru Stories wishes I would have stayed home. I was not a comfort to her.
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