This Week

Saturday I am hosting a bridal luncheon.  A family shower.  There might be twenty of us.  I want it to be special.  Not fancy.  Just a nice lunch.  Several people are bringing food.  I have spent hours on the internet looking for recipes.  I want some unique ways of serving the food.  I found a recipe for a raspberry lemonade.  I think I will make that.  Have some vodka on hand to make it an adult drink.  I bought a great container to keep the lemonade in.  It is going to be about the presentation.
We are going to play a few games.  Nothing lame.  There has to be games.  I tried to find some unique games that people might not have played at a hundred showers before.  Mainly, this shower is about family.  Making sure we keep a family connection.  Celebrating with family. 
I am sure it will all come together.  Might not have very much time to read this week.  Did not find any time to read over the week-end.  I had grandchildren with me Friday and Saturday evenings.  When the little girls are here, I do not get reading time. 
Let's hope for a quick, easy week. 

The After

This is the back of Hubby's head.  The AFTER shot.

Way better.  Way, way better.

Not sure Coach will ever have such a meaningful cut again.

I hope not!  Please do not grow it back!!

Just Do It

I am not sure why I when Tru Stories said I wish I could take the kids to a beach that I said, let's do it.  I am so glad I felt we needed to take this trip.  It has been wonderful.  Even with five kids it has been wonderful. 
When I saw, smelled, heard, and touched the ocean I knew we made the right decision.  I had not seen an ocean in years.  It was time.  I was overwhelmed by the beauty.  The power of it is amazing.  Sharing it with children that have never seen an ocean, priceless.  I want to travel more. 
If you have never seen an ocean, make it a priority.  Seriously, even if it is a short trip, do it.  Find a way to make it happen.  You will stand in the sand and say, Thank you God for this beauty.  You will be over-whelmed by the magnitude.  You will feel small.  You will feel blessed.
If you have not been to an ocean in years, GO AGAIN.  Remind yourself how wonderful life is.  Give yourself a treat.  One thing I learned this week is, I need more vacation time.  I need more money.  I want to be one of these people that come to Tybee Island for a month.  I want to live with this beauty everyday.
I promised a little Tink we will all go back to our little Village where we belong.  Last night she was concerned everyone was a bit too comfortable here.  I reminded her how we always go back home when vacation is over.
Home is good too.  As long as all the people I love are with me. 

Family Christmas

The Best Friend Cousins, youngest to oldest.

Last night was my family Christmas party.  Always held the week before Christmas.  We rent a hall.  We started this tradition many, many years ago.  It started because as my siblings and I had our own children, we wanted our own traditions.  We did not want to give up celebrating together.  We have changed locations over the years.  For a long time we had it in the back of a pizza place and ate the pizza buffet.  I think that was my children's favorite spot.  The most important thing about our party is that everyone comes.  We want it to be easy.
Last week one of my cousins died.  She was 62.  I did not know her.  We read about it in the paper. I do not have contact with any of my cousins.  My family did not spend time together on holidays.  Most of the time I only saw family at funerals.  Very sad.  I always wanted my kids to know their cousins.  I think cousins should be special.  My kids did not grow up in the same time as any cousins.  My grandchildren will grow up with their cousins. 
As you can see by these pictures, the cousins LOVE each other.  Four of these girls are what we like to call double cousins.  When brothers marry cousins, their children are SUPER related.

 There were boys at the party too.  They are not as entertaining as the girls.  They are getting older and boring.  Some of the boys only see each other once a year.  The City Cousins, do not visit our little Village.

 The girls keep an eye on each other.  Coco shows off her new Barbie.

There are three generations of us at the Christmas.  One of my brothers has passed on.  We know he isn't there.  It is obvious because we have leftover hard boiled eggs.  That did not happen when he was at the party.  I heard several people mention the eggs and my brother.  His boys live out of state and do not make the party.  We were able to text them a picture to let them know they were missed.  I would like to think when all of my generation is gone that the cousins will keep up the Christmas tradition.  But, I don't think they will.  The cousins that live in town spend time together all year.  The cousins that live in the city, do not have a bond with their small town cousins. 
We have given our children the opportunity to know their cousins.  To be there to help each other through their lives.  It is something I never had.  I know this group of little girls will know each other.  I hope they will be able to call each other friends years down the road.  Last night they were best friends.

Happy Birthday Coach!

I just realized tonight it is like Coach is my last child in a long line of children.  I don't have very many pictures of him.  The only way he can get his picture taken around my house is if he happens to be near my grand children when they are being adorable.  Sorry Coach! 
Happy Birthday to a great guy! Fingers crossed that Tru Stories does not kick you to the curb now that you are old.  I enjoy having someone to share a beef roll with.
I know you will have a good day!  Hope you get another W.  They are easy to stack.

Is It Saturday Yet

The answer to the e-mail questions was 464.  I think 20 of the e-mails were about one food day!!  I got through the e-mails.  I was happy to see my work friends.  Four hours was more than enough.  Not sure how I will do it tomorrow.  Tonight was just too much for me.
I decided to ride to the hospital with Tru Stories tonight while she had a visit with her brother.  I did not want her to go through it alone.  I was going to sit in the waiting room and read.  My son decided he would see me.  It really was so awful.  He looks terrible.  It is obvious the staff is scared of him so they are not interacting with him.  He is being left alone.  He is upset about needing a shave.  He is upset that he does not get any of his things. 
I just want to tell them that he is not that person.  He can be kind.  He is frightened.  He is sad.  He is so confused.  They do not even get decent beds to sleep in.  I want to take pictures in and say, see how beautiful he was.  He was funny.  He was so smart.  Girls loved him.  He was an amazing athlete.  He is really more of a boy than a man.  His family loves him so much. 
It is so hard to listen to my son go on and on about how we abused him.  I do not know why he thinks that.  The fact he does not remember how loved he has always been is one of the hardest things for me to hear. 
I just want to sit and rub his arm.  Hold him and tell him he is so loved.  He will not let me sit near him.  He let me hug him before I left.  It was not enough.
Tomorrow is the hearing.  I asked him to sign the paper work so we do not have to testify against him.  He said he would.  I am not sure how much he understands.
I pray the place he gets moved to can help him.  I pray they understand his illness.  I hope they know that it is his illness, not him that is causing the anger. 
I am sure Tru Stories wishes I would have stayed home.  I was not a comfort to her. 

Uncle Comes Home

My son is coming home today.  He should be here soon.  I stayed home to finish up some last minute things.  I saw him the other day.  It was a brief visit.  He really did not want company.  It is not a comfortable place for visiting.  He seemed much more clear.  Tru Stories had more time alone with him.  She thought he was doing very well.  I will know soon.
I am happy that he does not have to go to long term care.  I am nervous about what the next few days will bring.  We made some changes while he was gone.  He will not be happy. 
I woke up the other morning and when I was walking down the hall to the kitchen I realized I was tense hoping that Uncle was not awake.  Then I remembered he was not home.  That moment made me realize the tension I have been waking up with in the morning.  Preparing myself for whatever mood he might be in.  It has not been healthy.  I have been able to relax in my own home the last week.  Sadly, that has not been happening for a long time.
My doctor has given me time off to recover.  Call it mental health time.  In over 30 years my son has lived at home all but a little over a year.  The last twelve years he has suffered from mental illness.  The first 18 years were not all sunshine and roses.  I am a caregiver.  It is exhausting.  It has taken a toll on me.  More than I realized.  I hope this has been a wake up call for me.  I need need to make changes in how I live.  If my time off seems excessive than you are a lucky person.  You cannot conceive the stress that we live under.  You have never experienced the exhaustion from living with someone that goes days without sleeping.  It has been a dream to sleep without a fan on at night.  To experience the quiet of our house.  To live somewhat normally.
If you have had us in your prayers, thank you.  We are hoping for good things.  A medication change can make huge positive changes.  That is what we want to see.

A Family Reunited

Today we attended the funeral for my husband's Uncle.  He was the last of eight siblings to pass on.  He was a twin.  His nickname was Bob. He lived in a nursing home for 13 years.  I never spoke a word to him.  He and his twin always lived together.  Neither married.  The brothers would go to my in laws to visit once in awhile.  Bob always stayed in the car.  Everyone acted like it was normal.  Bob did not always want to talk to people.  He was a loner.  Thirty-five years in the family and I never met my husband's Uncle.  We attended a few family gatherings together.  The "boys" just did not visit with anyone but their siblings.
We went to the funeral home today expecting 8-9 people.  Feeling some guilt because Uncle Bob had lived this solitary life.  We were surprised to find out there were people in Bob's life.  Several ladies from the nursing home came.  They had stories about Bob.  He had a sense of humor.  When they opened his lock box, there was a banana peel rotting in the box.  There were a couple of friends.  A Pastor that started visiting him several years ago and now called him friend.  He also had a relationship with the Pastor from his church.  He had a small circle of people.  I felt better knowing that. 
Thirteen years ago Bob lost his twin, Bill.  I imagine Monday, Bill was waiting for Bob at the gates.  Grandma was happy to have her last child join her.  The eight of them together again.  They were all devoted Lutherans.  They knew they were all going to end up together again.
Bob was 84 years old.  We were able to celebrate his life.  Remember a strong family.  Secure in the knowledge that Bob was with his family again.

Life in Tokyo

With a huge sigh of relief I checked my e-mail tonight and found a long letter from my Sister-in-Law.  It is a great view of what is happening on the other side of the world.  A little background is that my Sister-in-law works for the international division of our favorite big box store.  This is her second stay in Japan.  She has been there since August and this is a two year assignment.  Several years ago, she also spent two years living in Tokyo.  I did not include the personal family stuff in my post.  She did say that her company has not made the decision to evacuate their employees at this time.  Kind of makes me wonder what they consider a serious risk to their employees!  What follows was written by my sister-in-law.

 

Just wanted to let everyone know that I am still doing okay.  Life in Tokyo has taken on a slightly different tone these days, but essentially we are all doing okay.  I still go into work each day, although we sometimes have to leave early because the trains are going to stop running in early evening to conserve power.

 

We have "rolling blackouts" due to the loss of generating capacity due to the nuclear reactors being destroyed.  The blackout is typically about 3 hours and it means absolutely no electrical power during that time.  I don't get affected by it in my apartment building because I am right next to the American Embassy and the Japanese Gov't Offices; so the power stays on here.  But it does affect us at work....and my ability to travel back and forth, so I still have to schedule around the blackouts.  For any of you who have been here, you will understand this impact as well....the escalators and elevators in the subway system and train system do not run.  They have all been shut down to conserve power.  That means I climb more steps that I have ever done in my life....everyday.  I try to remember that it is good exercise....at least once I get my breath back.

 

Food and fuel are scarce right now.  Daily basics are in very short supply and sell out as soon as they hit the shelves.  Stores close very early in the evening or delay opening until noon to try to conserve energy and maintain some sort of product availability.  So you shop when you see the store open and buy what you can find....even if it isn't exactly what you might like to serve.  I am fortunate in that much of what the Japanese don't care for; is food I would look for....so I can usually find choices I am happy with, but there is a true lack of fresh produce, eggs, bread, milk products, seafood or meat.  Probably that is mostly due to the fact that it is typically delivered on a daily basis over here and with the fuel shortages, suppliers can't make their usual number of deliveries.

 

It is almost impossible to find gas.  I rarely drive, so it isn't an issue for me; but it has had a big impact on businesses and the transportation companies.  The country imports virtually all fuel and due to port closures from the quake and tsunami, only about 1/8 of the normal volume of fuel is being received.  Virtually all of that goes to the military and the relief efforts up in the quake zone.

 

They are still working!  Can you imagine?  Disaster all around and they are still going to work. I think half of my department was off work today to watch college basketball.  This could explain why the Japanese are leaders in technology!  Very impressive.  I have also been amazed watching the calm the Japanese possess.  In some news footage I saw a line of cars evacuating.  It was not bumper to bumper.  They had a car length between every car.  A very calm evacuation.  

I have been watching videos of the tsunami.  Several times I have seen people washed away because they stayed behind trying to help people that were not able to walk on their own.   I do not even want to imagine how I would hold up in a disaster.  I hope I never find out.

I hope we all take something from this terrible disaster.  The power of nature.  The compassion and integrity that people can possess.